July 28th, 2010

Airline Absurdity

Airline Absurdity


It all started innocently enough, with two airlines competing for my attention via e-mails announcing specials-du-jour...






United was running an especially generous promotion for customers with points to redeem...






But upon closer examination, it became clear that something was a bit odd...






I would like to direct your attention to the first item on the list, where United has been kind enough to offer you the opportunity to blow 15,000 hard-earned "miles" on a trip from ... get ready ... San Francisco to Monterey! An easy drive in any case, but even if non-car-owners took the flight, they'd still have to shell out extra for cabs or some kind of bus tour upon arrival.

But wait, it gets better...






Delta, not to be outdone, is offering you a chance to fly -- yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's true -- from Oakland to San Francisco, or vice-versa! And all for the fine sum of $69!

I didn't even know planes took off from SFO and landed at OAK (or the other way around). You'd never even get a chance to bust out your portable electronic devices. I mean, hell, you might as well just take a ferry at that rate...

*Ahem.*

Okay, I know these suggested promotional itineraries are probably automatically generated by formula, but don't you think they'd include some "proximity check" (or perhaps "reality check") to avoid looking silly like this? I mean, really now...

(And I suspect planes most likely don't fly between SFO and OAK. Meaning that $69 flight would probably involve some crazy layover at some random location at least an hour or two away. Whether that makes it less, or even more absurd, I'm not sure, since at least you'd be in the air for a decent amount of time and get a chance to visit some quaint terminal in some pseudo-exotic locale -- "Wow, the auto-flush toilets in Ukiah are exquisite!" -- but still...)

Airlines ... gotta love 'em!