Thought of the Day: The Atrocity of Non-Specificity, a.k.a. "Who's Washing What?!"
I always get a kick out of those signs in restaurant/store bathrooms stating that "Employees Must Wash Hands" (often concisely printed without the optional "Before Returning to Work" qualifier). The way it's phrased, the familiar government-mandated (I think) directive fails to specify precisely whose hands said employees should be washing.
For all we know, it could be interpreted as indicating that washing customers' hands is one of an employee's myriad responsibilities.
And who's to say they have to be genuine, living hands? Maybe mannequin's hands need to be washed too. And who better to do it than those poor beleaguered employees?
Furthermore, isn't everybody who has a job considered an "employee" somewhere? The signs don't specify that the rule applies specifically to employees of the establishment in which the signs are posted. And it's not like one ceases to be an employee the moment (s)he leaves his/her workplace for the day, provided (s)he has not resigned or been laid off or terminated.
So really, the only people who aren't required to wash hands (again, we're not sure which hands exactly) are the unemployed.
Which includes children.
That scares me.
It all reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Pirates of the Caribbean:
Will Turner: Barbossa, you lying bastard! You swore she'd go free!
Barbossa: Don't dare impugn me honor boy! I agreed she go free, but it was you who failed to specify when or where!